BCP

Well, it seems that I have taken a step backward. We were trying to have a baby, but now thanks to a jacked up cycle I'm currently taking birth control. I was going to take it for the next two months but honestly, I don't know if I can. BCPs turn me into a hormonal, paranoid, depressed, mess. I mean just two nights ago my husband didnt come home when I asked him to because I wanted to use the car, and I actually went out LOOKING for him. It was cold as I don't know what and I was crampy and crying and thinking all sorts of things as far as me going to my sister's and staying because it was all I could take.
I notice things I usually don't notice, like he seemed he turned the volume down on his phone while he was listening to his voicemail. Whats that about? But I wanted to take these BCP for two months while I exercised and attempted to get into some sort of shape and then would hopefully ovulate soon after stopping them around June and get pregnant. I don't know if I can take feeling like this for the next two or three months.